Youth

Written 2/20/08

You know, being young is hard. Youth is full of flaws. Youth is pink rice clogging the drain. Youth is living month by month, day to day and never quite keeping your head above water. It's not being able to pick your battles. It's facing the fact you're not invicible. That you won't always be around. Youth is about loss in the general and specific sense of the word. When you were a child no one ever dies. Then suddenly you're thrust into a world full of pain and loss. You lose your innocence, your vitality, your resolve. You lose your grandparents, your parents, your friends. One day you wake up and realize you have lost yourself. You are a sinking, bloated and abandoned life. Youth is finally realizing with the eventual acceptance you will get older.

Wait Awhile

Written 3/17/08

It's been awhile
I haven't seen you since
we said "hello"
hello, goodbye
What's the difference
When you have nothing left to say

I saw you across the room
we nodded, you started
over to me
I looked away
I just didn't want to see you today

Maybe tomorrow
You'll understand what I said
that night so long
that this is what I meant
What I always meant

But I kept my thoughts to myself
and drank some more
and maybe tomorrow
this will all make sense
but today the drinks are still here
my mind is still cloudy
and I still haven't come home.

Zen Mountain Monastery

Written 1/12/08

Wake up, wake up
raise and rise.
Your day is today
a good today to be alive.
Show up to live your day of days
and don’t forget
you will find your way.
Wake up, wake up
arise and fly,
because if you miss this day, today
the rest will pass you by.

Zen Mountain Monastery

Written 1/12/08

It is morning
the sun has yet to rise
and I am awake
singing, chanting, breathing incense
from ancient beauty
that whispers across the room
into my body
and I am broken
tears run down my cheeks
but I am not to touch them
let them fall
and be present in the knowledge
that you are here
in this moment
awake, alive and open
stay grounded and believe
this minute is yours
on your count
you will notice your body still
and even when you don’t think you can hold on any longer
you will
you will hold on
in order to breathe in and out
you will hold on in the darkness
and break that darkness with your silence
as many others have done before you
and many others will continue
when you are no longer here
accept it and begin
you will transform to end your suffereing
because without it you are free
finally free
from conformity and confinement
from self-destruction and definitions
in the enlightenment of awareness
true and whole
because you are both
beautiful and still
for just this, just this moment.

Untitled #5

I'm world weary and vaguely born
I was brought here to find my reason
my purpose
But as I look around at all the chaos
the heartache and shame
I am continually reminded that I can't undo the past,
foresee the future or live here in the present
without hope and faith in my fellow, common man.