D.E. Purvis

And I'm lonely in this lonesome apartment
The sounds of the city wash over me
outside of my window
I am alone upstairs, perched on this dusty sill
away from this world, I'm hiding still.

I am broken over your lost spirit
I am sad we never made it through
I have never reached out,
reached out for you
You never seemed to care
or you didn't let it bother
And now I don't want to miss you
I'm not even sure if I can.

I'm scared of what this means
I'm aging rapidly
This promise of the man
born out of misery
taking you away, to that higher place
taking you from our family
far away from me.

I never heard your stories
I never seemed to stop.
I didn't ever know what to say
or how to even relate
But now looking back I don't think it would matter
that I didn't know what to say.
What would matter most
was that I was there.

If I had to do it over, I wish that I had tried
so that in this moment, I could even cry
but instead I worry for my mother
my sister and my grandmama
but of course thinking of you too.
I'm thinking over why
we didn't even try
and why I didn't think I needed you.