Mommy and Me

Quiet, still and timid I step into the sun
“Waste not, want not” my mother cries from behind the shaded glass
The place where she hides herself and I can not see her for what she truly is
I play and dance and dream in the tree that whispers her name
While she watches from that window, that window I can’t see.

My mother used to laugh, my mother used to sigh
But now she just smiles; smiles and smiles and smiles
“Only a face a mother could love” she says to me
My face? My face is the only one you love?
I know she looks in my face and sees my tears and knows that she was me, she is me.
As I look in hers and see everything I’m scared to be, everything I’m scared I’ll turn out to be.
Now I lay me, down to sleep
Don’t let me be my mother when I wake.

Sad, lonely and alone
I am an only child and I spend most of my days sad, lonely and alone.
I want my mother to play with me but still she sits, she sits and stares off into space
I wonder what she’s thinking
“Eat all of your vegetables or you won’t get any dessert”
I don’t want dessert, I want my mommy back
The one who used to spin me around, who used to brush my hair, who used to tell me I was enough.

Now I stand before her in my worn out, washed out body
And she doesn’t see me, she stares right through me
“Of course I love you” she calms me
But I know, "of course" is a phrase used by people who are indifferent
I am indifferent just as my mother is indifferent
I wish we could be indifferent together.

We pull away and break apart
And I am lonelier than I was before
I am still lonely
I want my mommy; I want it to be my mommy and me
And I miss her and her dancing, swirling laughter
I just miss her and I can’t tell her because she wouldn't hear me even if I did.